How to Help Yourself Through the Grieving Process

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Nothing in life can ever be as painful as losing someone that you love. The loss of a person that you’re close to can come out of nowhere and hit you so hard. Whether the person’s passing was expected or sudden, the pain of the loss remains a hugely heavy burden to carry.

One main thing people struggle with most after a loss is how to live afterward. How do you just step into your old routine and go back to living life the way it was before? How can you settle back into your old life when everything now feels just so unfamiliar? So much uncertainty can creep into your life when you lose someone truly special. This can make it really difficult to know how to start to move yourself forward, and honestly, you may not even want to do so yet. Understanding how to help yourself through the grieving process isn’t easy, but these tips should help:

Don’t rush

Being patient with yourself is essential. Try not to put yourself under pressure to act or feel in a particular way. Allow yourself to go with your feelings rather than battle against them. Forcing yourself to feel a certain way or berating yourself won’t you don’t can make things feel far worse. All this pressure adds an extra layer of trauma to how you feel. So be sure to take things really easy on yourself. 

It’s so helpful to remember that you don’t need to make your grief work to a timescale. It’s absolutely fine to just sit with it while it flows. Dealing with your feelings can seem overwhelming. But when you stop trying to battle against your feelings, life can feel a little easier.

Keep communicating

When grief hits you, it can be just so tempting to hide yourself away. When your emotions feel this big, it’s no surprise that you might want to just shut down and hide away. The well-meaning attentions of friends and family can leave you wanting to make excuses and avoid seeing them. It’s essential to remember that no matter how clumsy or frustrating their attempts are to comfort you, they’re just doing their best. 

Very few people have any idea about the right things to say and what they should do when someone they love experiences a loss. But that doesn’t mean that most of your family and friends don’t want to help you. You don’t need to grieve alone. You don’t even need your family and friends to say anything to you. You just need to know that they’re there for you. Don’t be afraid to keep opening up to those that you trust.

Talking won’t bring your loved one back. However, it will help you to process what’s happened. Coming to terms with a loss is one of the hardest parts. So, ensuring that you aren’t alone throughout the process is essential. Talking when you feel ready to do so can help you so much. Simply getting some of those thoughts out of your mind and stopping them going round and round through your mind. This can be especially helpful if you’re someone that tends to ruminate and revisit the past over and over when you’re trying to sleep. 

If you don’t feel comfortable speaking about your feelings to a friend or trusted family member, you may want to chat with a professional grief therapist. The grief therapist is trained on exactly how to help you through your grief. Their expertise and experience can help guide you through the horrible feelings you are facing right now.

Don’t be afraid of your memories

Memories of all the good times can cause you to feel pained right now. You may want to block out the happy times because they simply hurt too much. It’s totally normal to feel like this. Be assured that there’s no way you’ll feel like this forever. In time, you will be able to bear looking at those memories and thinking back to all those moments spent together. If you don’t feel this way yet, that’s absolutely fine. Let yourself take as long as you need. 

When you’re feeling like the time is right, you may want to sort through some of your photos and special keepsakes given to you by your loved one. Looking at these will certainly be less painful as time passes. You may even find that it brings you a whole lot of comfort to look back over some of your happy times spent together. 

Keeping some kind of memento of your loved one with you at all times can also bring lots of comfort to your day. Getting through normal life can feel a whole lot easier when you have something special with you at all times. Choosing necklaces for photos to include a picture of your loved one is particularly special. This means you can wear them close to your heart always. This heartfelt tribute means they’ll always be there wherever you are.

Step outside

One final thing you can do to help yourself through the grieving process is to get outside and into the fresh air. Hiding yourself away at home can quickly become a habit. Once you shy away from being outside, it can be tough to break this habit. Trying to at least get a little bit of fresh air each day can be incredibly therapeutic. 

A simple change of scenery can help you to get unstuck from ruminating thoughts. This can help you to work your way through your grief, even in a small way. Even if you just step out into your backyard and feel the sun on your face, your mood should slightly improve.

What’s next?

Gradually moving your way through the grieving process is always wise. Reading through the advice above and seeking professional help will make day-to-day life seem a little easier. Remember, don’t put pressure on yourself. Celebrate the special relationship you shared with your loved one, and be kind to yourself.