Hosting a dinner party, if done well, can be a delightful experience, and bring people together for good food and great company too. It doesn’t matter how experienced you are or how perfect your menu is, what matters is heart, the willingness to be gracious, and to provide for people. This in itself can allow for a great deal of fellow feeling and mutual warmth, and lead to a nice memory you can think back on with fondness.
Yet it’s also true that while a nurturing atmosphere is important, it’s also crucial to think of the manners that comprise such an experience. But what kind of manners are appropriate as the host of a dinner party? What should you be expected to do? After all, you likely don’t want to set rules for how other people can behave or make the atmosphere stiff with too much protocol, but it’s still fine to consider some of the following advice:
Ask For Any Special Provisions
Sometimes, you may need to provide for some of your guests. If one of them has a severe nut allergy, then it’s absolutely essential to try and cook a full menu without nuts or even the chance of cross-contamination, just to play it on the safe side. You might also ask your guests not to bring additional food or snacks with nuts in them just to be safe.
If a particular guest has had to attend rehab for alcohol in the past, you might be kind enough to offer either non-alcoholic drinks or only to those who stay after the dinner party. This is a good way to provide for everyone, while still making sure your guests feel respected.
Consider Your Seating Arrangements
If you’re inviting disparate people or groups that haven’t met, like certain friends or colleagues, it can be worthwhile to seat them comfortably so that they have someone they know to talk to, and someone they don’t know to connect with. Now, not everyone you invite to a dinner party will get on like a house on fire, but they’ll certainly have the impetus to try. A seating arrangement might not have to be the most complex consideration to get right, but it’s always good to make sure people can be social and have enough room at the dinner table. Moreover, if you serve some dishes from the centre of the table you can encourage communication and a sense of community bonding in the best way.
Make Any Requirements Clear
If you have any specific requirements from your guests, such as BYOB or bringing a side dish, then let them know. If you’re going for a more informal event, then tell them they don’t need to dress up smartly. If you’re hoping to be more formal, perhaps for a family event, then ask for smart casual dress.
A little clarity goes a long way, and you don’t have to feel like you’re asking too much for that. Of course, if you’re putting together a large meal, perhaps for a mutual holiday, then asking people to contribute a little to the ingredients ahead of time is best practice, instead of asking them for money afterwards, which isn’t good form at all. When people feel clear about what to expect, they’re better able to relax and won’t overthink their time with you.
A Welcoming Approach Is Key
It’s always important to be very, very clear that all guests at your dinner party are welcome. It can sometimes feel like we’re intruding if we’re the guest who knows the leat people, or who was invited last minute. Making it clear that the dinner party is richer for their presence and you can’t wait for them to come, confirming the morning of the event, can feel wonderful on their behalf, and help them feel less nervous about the whole thing.
This is especially true if you’re offering a given dietary change for them, perhaps the only vegan there. They deserve to have their diet catered to, but they may feel a little worried about “asking for too much” or being a nuisance, which is why it’s good to repeatedly confirm you loved cooking for them and talking through your process. If you welcome your guests, you can be absolutely certain they’ll return time and time again.
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